Mary-Antonette Jimenez-Mendez
It’s when we are confronted with situations that make us realize that the truth is far from our fantasy.
As a mom, we dream one day that the children we brought into this world would grow up to be ideal teenagers, responsible adults and live happily ever after. Just because you work your butt off, however, doesn’t make you a good mom. Just because you teach them how to be responsible and polite does not mean they will end up to be the best people in this world.
Currently, parents tend to work too hard and forget the negative effect this can have on the child. I was raised in a long-distance relationship with my mother. Although she may have provided me with the best things I could hope for, it was never enough and I still had to rebel during my teenage years.
It is the yearning for that motherly care, the tender loving touch and calming hugs that I would dream of and not the sneakers, chocolates, toys and money that she would send me.
Now that I am a mom, I decided to do things differently. I would never leave my children to look for greener pasture. I would be there no matter how hard it may be so that they will always feel love and support.
It did bring a different outcome to my children, but then there’s something that still lacks in them, there’s still something that they seek that I cannot seem to provide, which I’m sometimes in denial to accept.
I guess it hurts and hits me hard when I thought that I could do better than my own mom did but realizing my children are still struggling.
It is not how you fantasized being a mother is all about, nor is it enough to do well professionally and provide for them. It really boils down to how they will find themselves in this dog-eat-dog world. I guess all I can do now is allow them to grow, to fail, to adapt, to fight and to survive while giving all the support and understanding and love that I can to make their lives a bit easier and happier.
Reality does bite, and when it does, you either deal with it with a positive attitude or face defeat and think of yourself as a loser. As I end this blog, I’d like to share a simple encouragement to you fellow moms who are going through the same dilemma as I am…our children will always be our priority, and when it comes to them discovering themselves, we need to think that it is them that matters, not our ideals, not our ways, not our dreams.
Cheers to all moms out there!
